We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
