Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
