Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize