Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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