do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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