it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
