my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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