This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
