Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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