I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dignity is for republicans.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
