it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
