so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
