we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize