can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
