You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
