Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i think my cat just said my name.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
