please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
