after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
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Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
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They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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