he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just want nice things and good sex
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
