Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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