Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
