This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
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i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
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I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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