We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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