pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
