The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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