True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize