When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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