A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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