Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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