I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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