Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
