So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
