Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
