if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
