I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
