That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize