I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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