I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize