Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
