I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
