I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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