I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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