in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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