Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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