sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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