My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
