when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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