Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize