just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
