now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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