don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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