Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
