i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
