he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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