I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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