I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
