she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
