im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
