He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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